Mulligan

9.10.2009

When You’re Here You’re Family

So my brother’s getting married to wife 1.0, Lauren. We all dutifully head out to Seattle for the festivities, dry as they may be (I’ve been to two dry weddings in my life. The next one I’m bringing a flask).

As it turns out, Lauren’s twin sister Shelby ends up going into labor the morning of the rehearsal dinner. For reasons I don’t know, this causes the rehearsal dinner to be moved from my brother’s house to Olive Garden. Yes, you heard me right, Olive Garden.

Now the exciting part of this, in addition to getting to sit on chairs on castors, is that our end of the table is permitted, or just did it anyway, to order wine. But that’s only the beginning of the exciting times we had.

A few minutes after our party is seated at a long banquet table (there were probably 20 of us), Shelby arrives with her newborn. Yes, you heard me right again, She gave birth in the morning, and showed up at Olive Garden that evening….with the baby.

Tell me more. Does it get better? Why yes it does. Early into the evening, the women of family gather round in the corner of Olive Garden to teach Shelby how to breastfeed. Now I’m a fairly open minded fellow, but having a La Leche League hands on breastfeeding seminar in the middle of dinner at Olive Garden is going a bit overboard.

Later on, the wait staff gather round Shelby’s end of the table to sing Happy Birthday…on the baby’s actual birth day. The look of discomfort on their faces was something to behold.

Oh yeah, and our waiter was a dwarf.

Continued...

1.17.2005

On the Origin of Limey

So why, over 20 years since I left England, am I known as Limey (or Lymie to the status conscious)?

It all begins, as much of my life does since 1985, after following the refridgerator delivery guy into the rear first floor suite my second night at NU (more on that overall event in another post). This was John Cotrona's room. We began hanging out and were joined over the next few months by many other Johns. Eventually we all ended up with nicknames. John Cotrona was Mod John since he looked straight out of Quadraphenia. Another was Skate Rat (John McGrail), a skate punk who, if I remember correctly, had a broken leg when we met him. Well, I still had a pretty nasty Yorkshire accent so I was tagged with English John (I believe it may have been Michele Auerbach). After a few (too many) beers however it's just way to many syllables. Mod John thought Limey rolled off a beer soaked tongue much better. And so it stuck.

Well that explains the college years, but what about those colleagues and even clients who:

Never heard an English accent pass my lips.
Never new any of my college friends.

Well that's where the overlap comes in. My wife Kerry knew me only as Limey from before she ever even met me (another post for another day). To the extent that when her mother suggested that she an "John" arrive at our wedding on a boat (It was at a boathouse on the Charles), Kerry was wondering why she would arrive with her brother, Jon. Even Kerry hadn't heard much of an accent out of me except when I was drunk and talking to cute girls (I didn't even know I did it). She new exactly when it was time to leave a party. But I digress. So when she went to work at this 100 person accounting firm she introduced me to everyone as Limey. By the time I went to work there 2 years later it was too late. Not only did everyone at the office call me Limey but I was introduced to clients as Limey. When I returned last year after four years at a dotcom spinoff my office name tag and name tags at events all still say Limey.

And so it sticks.

Continued...

Boy Scouts (1977 - ????)

The Boy Scouts is largely lost from my memory. I recall that I had been a Cub Scout in Maryland and when I moved to England the Boy Scouts started a year earlier, or some such thing, so I immediatly joined the Boy Scouts instead of the Cub Scouts. I remember that I wore my American Cub Scout uniform for the first few meetings.

I recall doing a fair amount of camping...in the rain...
There's some issue with not touching the tent canvas because once you do the water starts coming right through.

One time we were camping somewhere and they gave us money to go into the village (what village I have no idea) and buy food. For some reason the thing I remember buying is this big thick English bacon at the butcher shop.

Tent's were a giant pain in the ass to put up and take down with all the ropes and tent pegs and whatnot. As far as I can tell the ones today pop themselves up...I could be wrong...I'm starting to sound like I walked to school barefoot in 3 feet of snow up hill both ways...

There was the time we went canoing (kayaking to Americans) in Scotland. Somehow, and I think my dad was involved, we got all these sea canoes. We took them up to some lake an Scotland to use them. One afternoon we went out and were taught how to bail out of them. It was great! You tip the thing over and fall out upside down. It was a lot of fun. So the next morning we're out in the lake again and I decide to tip over and bail out. Only I made to misjudgements. The first was that the sun had not yet warmed up the water. The second was that the lake was deeper where I was. When I bailed out the cramping from the icy water was so bad I could barely breath and it felt like my testicles were in a vice.

The thing I really don't remember is how it ended. I think it must have just faded out of my life when I started going to parties and discos around the age of 14 or 15.

Continued...

12.22.2004

Reunion Week: December 14th - 21st, 1997

OK. So it starts at a party at Rob and Maureen's. Rob is Kerry's ex-roommate Alex's ex-boyfriend (is one still an ex after 6 years?) On Tuesday Lorraine, my friend and former roommate show's up from San Francisco. It's off to the Behan. Limey takes it easy on Wednesday...it's a school night. On Thursday Lorraine does an open mike night at the Casual Cup Coffee House in Coolidge Corner. About 15 people show up to see her. After she plays...it's off to the Behan. I arrive home at 4:30am...there's a whole cab story that goes along with this that I won't get into. Just call 536-2000 next time you need a cab. Upon arriving home I find a message on the voice-mail from Alex (see ex-roommate thing above). She's in town on business for a few days from Arizona. She's staying with Paul. Doug is having a party in Mission Hill on Saturday. Paul and Doug were Wentworth friends of Rob's (see above ex-roommate thing). I invite Jerreth to the party. He declines (take note.) Kerry and I show up at the party. Alex is there with Sue. Sue and Jerreth were an item for about a month in 1991 or thereabouts. Meet Doug and Paul for the first time in 5 or 6 years. Let's just say that we remember them differently...not that there's anything wrong with it. At some point I talk to Irene, who's in town from Oklahoma. Irene, Lorraine, Kerry, myself and a barload of others meet up at Doyles on Sunday. Most of us end up hanging out at Our place later on. On Monday we see Lorraine at the Cantab for another open mike night. We arrive as she's strumming the first chord and leave a beer or so later.